The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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