I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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