dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
