I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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