if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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