I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
