Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
