The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
