do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
