My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
