apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
