I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Mom said you looked used
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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