I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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