I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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