No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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