Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize