he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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