You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
