I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
