No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
