also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
