is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize