Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Drunk is not a location!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
