Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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