What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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