Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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