Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
