Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
