You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
how drunk are you?
Several
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
