Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
