let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
we're chasing vodka with high fives
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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