did you get engaged???
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
