I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
