butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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