Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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