I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize