she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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