my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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