Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
