She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He did a backflip because drugs
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
