She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
