Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
