it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
smell my finger.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
