ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
did i just pee glitter
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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