I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
