Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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