Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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