we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I believe in your delicious
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
