im about as happy as oj after his trial
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
