you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
