my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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