I want to walk on stilts...naked
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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