I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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