he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
