When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
