i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
