I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You are a genius and a whore.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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