During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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