I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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