Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
