Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
its not stalking. its research.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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