I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
