Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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