just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
