does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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