Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
