More tranny stories later!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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